A big mouthed London Lawyer went duck hunting in rural Wales. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the man climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
He responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The self important solicitor said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the country and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything"
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Wales. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old bastard.
He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's balls and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the stomach sent the man's last meal gushing from his mouth.
He was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck".
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